Making People Feel Like the Sun

A monthly recap and look ahead: marriage, cross-country travel with three kids, Peter’s first birthday, spring in Charleston, and the joy in celebrating the people you love.

Apr 15, 2025

Hello, hi! How have you been?

We have had the craziest few weeks. What is it about spring? It is glorious in every way but also a doozy, year after year. I have barely begun to come up for air. Edwin was gone on location for a documentary he is producing for 8 nights. Then, I flew solo with our three boys to go meet him in Arizona for a week for our spring break. Finally, we finished this wild 3 week stretch with a week in Charleston + Palmetto Bluff with our best friends from California for their spring break. Throw in illnesses (fevers, ear infections, rashes, vomiting) for all 3 kids, a beautiful wedding, an 18 hour travel day that had us arriving home at 5:30am after the Atlanta airport closed for a storm and we were stranded, so many suitcases/rental houses/hotels, and it was a whirlwind. I’m thrilled to be home for the next 4-5 weeks. Just what the doctor ordered. Reading this back, it sounds like it wasn’t a great 3 weeks. If fact, it was quite the opposite! It was fantastic and full of so much family, so many friends, wonderful memories, and trips I’ll remember for a long time. The ages of our kids just make everything so busy. Sometimes, I quite like busy so I do well in the go-go-go but it is then nice to regroup afterwards. Thank goodness I had the peace of February because March did not offer up any peace and quiet!

P.S. This post is too long for email so click through to Substack to read it in full.

My monthly recaps are meant to go out on the first Monday of every month, which should have been last Monday as the 1st was on a Tuesday. My life is my kids and my family so it just didn’t happen but, I’m very happy to hit publish today. Edwin is in the midst of a big project for work - a documentary he is producing that requires lots of travel, seemingly endless work, and downright crazy hours. When Edwin is on a project like this, our whole family is on it, to an extent. My solo parenting muscles get loosened up and we all flex in different ways to adapt to changing routines and schedules. I talk to our boys all the time about how our family is a team - we are each other's biggest cheerleaders and champions, we thrive when we listen to each other and honor each other. When Edwin is gone for work, I remind the boys that we are so grateful Dad is working so hard for our family and share with them that their Dad hires lots of other people for his work; so, he helps other moms and dads support their families too. This seems to click for the boys and I can see that they feel proud of their dad, even through the missing of him.

I asked Edwin the other day what his dream job is. I honestly wasn’t 100% sure what he would say. Without much hesitation, he answered simply, “what I am doing right now.” He added that he’d love to be a show runner one day (he is a producer and cinematographer) but I’m the biggest believer in having things to aspire to. We know so many people who are unhappy in their work and careers. I am so proud of Edwin every single day for creating a career for himself around his passions in life and really reaching for the stars. No one in Edwin’s family works in entertainment, he had no leg up but he had a dream, pursued it, and has been working tirelessly at it ever since. His career is one that is full of unknowns. He is so happy doing his dream job and the career he set his mind to but he works impossibly hard. It is not easy and not without stress. I try to be there to encourage, celebrate the wins, and listen when things go pear shaped.

It comes so naturally to me to shine down on my kids and make them feel like the sun. Part of it is that kids pretty much think of themselves as the sun - everything orbits around them. They are the centers of their own universes and, for better or for worse, I reinforce that. As a mother to three children aged 4 and under, I really am not the center of my own universe. They are the center of my world. I orbit around them and am constantly thinking about how to support them, challenge them, give them all the fun, and help them become the best people they can be. When Edwin was gone three weeks ago, I was wondering, do I make Edwin feel like the sun? The person who linked his life with mine, who dedicated himself to me forever, who gave me this family I dreamed of. He’d say the same thing about me - I did these things for him too. We have dedicated ourselves to each other but, I have wondered before, do we do it on a daily basis? We help each other all the time with household tasks and Edwin helps me with photographing me for campaigns for my work. I am so grateful for this. What I am most grateful for though is when we are really attuned to each other and can read the room,

“You look like you could use a tap out. Go for a walk or take a shower and I’ll finish up dinner with the kids.”

“You’ve been working so hard lately, text a friend and go play golf or grab beers this weekend. I’ve got the kids.”

“How can I be helpful to you? I know you are balancing a lot right now.”

“Thank you for taking the time to do that. I couldn’t have imagined having that on my plate.”

“I needed that break and time to myself or with my friends. Thank you so much for not hesitating to give it to me.”

These are simple small things yet they add up to be everything and to being the key to a supportive relationship. In my opinion, they are the key to making someone feel like the sun. This concept of making someone feel like the sun is really sticking with me. I can’t shake it. It speaks to exactly where I am in my life - I am constantly busy with three kids + the joys and challenges of motherhood while also trying to carve out time to work and support my family in a financial way. Along the way, I’m afraid I have lost some of my natural ability to make anyone other than my kids feel like the sun. There has to be more left for others or I’m not moving through the world the way I hope to be. In my head and my heart, I make Edwin feel like the sun but I want to do it more in practice. I should note that, when Edwin reads this, he will be surprised. This isn’t something we have been talking about. I have been marinating on it and swish-swashing it around in my head. But it is true, I want to make everyone in my family feel like the sun because I love, love, love them and because, selfishly, I want to bask in their sunlight. I want to feel the warmth that generates off of a person who feels wholly loved, adored, and supported.

Last month, I wrote about taking the time to notice. There was a time when I’d find myself busy noticing Edwin. The young love when you are so enamored with another person you want to learn their every quirk, ism, and type of smile. You notice it all because you ~~don’t want to~~ can’t look away. You have to be near them. You buzz because they buzz. You don’t want an afternoon that doesn’t include them in it. You are busy noticing them. You make them feel like the sun. In our culture, maybe that is why it is so easy to fall in love and can be hard to stay in love - you orbit around somebody and dedicate yourself to them but then you have a family, career, house and you get busy. You no longer shine rays of sunshine on them and they stop shining back on you. No, no, no. Not for me. I want a life of sunshine.

There is a meme going around (that I, of course, can’t find now) about how someone was rushing through their seemingly mundane day until they realized their day was all they ever dreamed of. I feel this. I can be the first person to admit I can get lost in the laundry, bills, the pediatrician appointments, the deadlines, the grocery lists. But for what? Why? This life I have with a wonderful strong marriage, three healthy radiant children, a house that loves us and feels like a hug every day, and a community in Charleston we can’t imagine living without… it’s all I could ever dream of. How does one get so fortunate?

As spring continues to bloom, I’m continuing to dedicate myself to noticing, to treating those I love like the sun. Will it take practice? Maybe. I might need to break away from my to-dos to orbit around the really important stuff, the people I love (this includes me! I must treat myself like the sun too!). Like anything though, I know it starts as a seed and will flower into fullness. I am always learning, growing, practicing, tweaking, noticing, reflecting. It is a lifelong pursuit and one I want to model for my children. Every day, week, and month is a fresh start to begin anew.

And to you, Edwin, you are the perfect end to every one of my days. This is a sentiment I read one day awhile back and it resonated so strongly with me. It is something I know will never not be true. The boys and I are proud of you. You are the sun. They are the sun. We are all each other’s sun. I love our family.

To actually recap March now… it was busy but beautiful. The highlight was Peter’s first birthday! I can scarcely believe that he is one and the first year of his life has come and gone. How can this be!? It was so fast. I could stare at his beautiful face all day long every day of my life and it wouldn’t be enough. His happiness is infectious. He is easy, bright, loving, and curious. His big brothers proclaim their love for him at every turn. No one in our family can imagine life without him! We celebrated his first trip around the sun with a little family party at my parents house with us 5, my parents, and my brother. We did a taco night, a few gifts, and, in keeping with my sunshine yellow life inspiration, we baked Peter a buttery lemon blueberry cake with fluffy creamy cheese frosting - bright, fresh, and sweet!

The month was also dotted with lots of fun - two date nights with Edwin (one for wine and cheese that turned into dinner and one black tie party with Historic Charleston Foundation in the garden at the Nathaniel Russell House), two garden parties at different Charleston homes, lots of fresh springtime flowers (taking a page out of my own book), a beach bonfire with 10 or so other dear families, swimming playdates, tons of homecooked meals, lots of neighborhood walks and scooter rides with my boys, the Charleston Antiques Show (I was so honored to be on the Young Collectors Committee for the Charleston Show! It was a fantastic, full weekend), and lots more.

Another highlight was the book talk my mom and I attended - we heard Jenna Bush Hager and Barabara Pierce Bush talk for their brand new children’s book, I Loved You First. It is all about the love parents have for their children. It was completely wonderful. I could not help but cry during the talk, sitting next to my mother because she is one in a million, the best mom I could ever ask for. She is everything! I highly recommend adding the book to your children’s at-home libraries. I also refreshed my boys’ pajama drawers with brand new springtime pajamas that we are all loving! I love that my boys love LAKE Pajamas as much as I do. I also celebrated my girlfriend Sara’s clothing collection collaboration with Charleston artist Blakely Made. I got the Coco Shells wrap skirt and have worn it 3 times in the last 4 weeks - it is that good!

April is flying by. I’m so grateful that the sun has been shining all month. I’ve been so enamored with sunshine-y spring days and the concept of making loved ones feel like the sun, so my collage this month echoes that. Lots of yellow, lots of sun, lots of light. We’ve been in the pool or by the ocean so much - the beauty of spring break and living in Charleston - so the way blue and yellow play off of each other has been dancing around my head. The sun on the ocean as the backdrop to moments I’m dog earring in my mind. A beautiful, underrated color combo.

I hope you are having a beautiful spring! Happy April! Here comes the sun!

A few things:

If you visit Charleston every year, I rounded up a list of all the marvelous new places that have opened since last year here.

Wasn’t The Masters spectacular to watch this past weekend? It was the first time we’ve watched golf and had our boys show an interest. Absolutely adored it. If you want the look for your littles or if they play golf, check out Baffie. It is the cutest - a children’s clothing brand passing the traditions of golf to the next generation.

Judi Boisson is offering 25-35% off all her quilts and rugs. Henry has this patriotic stars quilt on his bed, which we both love! It is adorable, soft, and the highest quality. I can’t get enough of her special quilts. It was her grandmother’s company that the current owner is lovingly carrying on.

Sitano has the freshest white beach coverups in their newest collection from this crochet dress to these textured cotton jacquard pants to this coordinating shirt… the beach is calling!

These! I think my boys would love them and they have 5 stars and 34,000 reviews.

Did you see the launch of Spence Racquet Sports? I loved the branding so much! I’m excited to see more from this brand.

I’m swooning over these spring colors in the Chatelles Paris Mary Janes! Which is your favorite? Sage, Petrol, or Dark Blue.

I’m very into the new pearl necklaces from Allegra Garcia-Velez. The Seafoam, the Aqua, the Turquoise… they are all so good.

Books on my radar:

Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy
When the Going Was Good: An Editor's Adventures During the Last Golden Age of Magazines by Graydon Carter
Crush by Ada Calhoun
Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism by Sarah Wynn-Williams
There's Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Abdurraqib

A coffee table book on my radar:

Flower Couture: From My Garden to My House by Cordelia De Casellane

Miscellaneous reads:

7 ways to be a more thoughtful friend
a delightful interview with Of Counsel founder Jackie Thomson (a great read for the PR minded)
5 things I wish I would have known when starting a cut-flower garden, pt. one and two
up close with the accidental influencer Annie Meyers-Shyer

Two new Substacks I am excited about:

Curated by Carly Hill
Busacca Bazaar by Meg Busacca

TV & movies on my radar:

The Leopard on Netflix
The Studio on Apple TV (Edwin is very into this one)

Recipes on my radar:

Thank you for reading and for following along with my Substack. I so hope you enjoyed this longer post. My monthly recap posts are my way of getting my stream of consciousness thoughts down on paper and to share what is restoring, refreshing, and renewing me right now. My wish is that it will stir something in you and inspire you to add a new idea or a little extra bit of beauty to your life. I will see you on Thursday for my next installment of my weekly post, The Catch-Up.